Mrs Rip Van Winkle
I sank like a stone
into the still, deep waters of late middle age,
aching from head to foot.
I took up food
and gave up exercise.
It did me good.
And while he slept,
I found some hobbies for myself.
Painting. Seeing the sights I’d always dreamed about:
The Leaning Tower.
The Pyramids. The Taj Mahal.
I made a little watercolour of them all.
But what was best,
what hands-down beat the rest,
was saying a none-too-fond farewell to sex.
Until the day
I came home with this pastel of Niagara
and he was sitting up in bed rattling Viagra.
Carol Ann Duffy (May 2009)